Ezra: Oh, Jude, you'll like this: one of my teachers brought her dog to school and he walked around and sniffed all the kids.
Lauren: What kind of dog was it?
Ezra: A beagle and something mix.
Jude: What did it feel like?
Ezra: What?
Lauren: Like, was it soft like Sammy, or kind of wiry like Buster?
Jude: No, that's not what I'm asking.  What did it feel like to have a dog in the classroom?

Lauren: Time for bed.
Ezra: First I want an apple.
Lauren: It's too close to bedtime.  You've had enough fruit.
Ezra: [crying]
Jude: It's true--a doctor a day keeps the apple away!

Lauren: Those kids in the store were cute taking care of their baby brother.
Jude: I know!  Steal a baby, put it in a grocery bag, and say it's a watermelon!
Lauren: Do you want a baby?
Jude: NO.  Throw it in the trash can and say it was moldy!

Ezra, making French toast: "Mommy, a piece landed on the side of the pan!"
Me: It's okay.  Just knock it off with the fork.
Ezra: But I don't want to electrocute myself!