I was just listening to NPR in the car and there was a story about the NRA's recent press conference and Ezra asked, "What are they talking about?" I said, "They're talking about how many people should have guns, and how hard or easy it should be get th--"
"I know how many people should have guns. Zero."

Ezra: What's elementary school?
Me: It's kindergarten through 5th grade.
Ezra: What's 5th grade?
Me: After kindergarten, there's 1st grade, then 2nd, then 3rd, then 4th, then 5th.
Ezra: Like they just keep on going?
Me: Yep, you go through 12th grade, and then you graduate from high school, and then you can go to college.
Ezra: But after all of those schools I'm not feeling like going to college.

Jude: I wanna wipe nose on Buster.


Jude: Wipe Sammy. Sammy wet.
Me: Why is Sammy wet.
Jude: I wipe nose Sammy.


Jude: Hold me. I wanna wipe nose on Mommy.

Jude just walked in holding a little box of toys and saying, "It's cake, Mommy, it's cake, it's cake, it's cake!"
"Can I have some?"
"No, it's hot."
And then he left.

Ezra and Jude acting out some scenario with their toys:
Ezra: "I'm the stinkiest person in the whole world!"
Jude: "Me too!"

Ezra: Mommy, have you seen my minja?
Me: I put it on top of the dollhouse last night.
Ezra: Well it's not there. The strangest things have been happening.

Jude: Mommy go potty? I wanna sit. Wipe? Wipe? One more time? All gone?

The beagles were playing the other night in the R-rated way that dogs do and Jude exclaimed, "Backwide! Backwide!"

Jude just opened the 12th door on his advent calendar that has a piece of milk chocolate behind each door and exclaimed, "CHOCIT!! Try it, dere GOOD!" (He was talking to himself. I was definitely not being invited to try his chocit.)

I was looking at pictures of the mother-son dance at Lauren's brother's wedding with Ezra and he asked, "Can we do that?"
"What, dance at your wedding?"
"Yeah."
"Of course we can. What song should we dance to?"
"Old McDonald."
So we slow-danced around the den to Old McDonald.

Ezra just held up a gingerbread boy and said, "Hey, did I do this one? It looks great, like me." I guess preschoolers don't have self-esteem issues.

Ezra: Did you know pirates are old people who don't wear life jackets on the seven seas?

While trimming the tree:
Ezra: Mama, you did a great job on some of it!
Lauren: I did a great job?
Ezra: On some of it.
Lauren: Thank you.