The kids are giving Lauren a hard time tonight.
Lauren: Did they still have the Toy Story Legos at the toy store?
Ezra: They sure did! Now stop talking.

As I'm trying to make a left turn onto a busy street.
Ezra: They're not Melodiddies, Mommy, they're Yellowdiddies. Yellowdiddies.
Me: Shh, I need to concentrate.
Jude: Mommy concentwate? Mommy concentwate? Mommy concentwate? Mommy concentwate? Mommy concentwate?
Me: Yes, I need to concentrate.
Jude: Why say dat? Why say dat? Why say dat? Why say dat? Why say dat?
Me: I'm trying to drive.
Jude: Why dwive? Why dwive? Why dwive? Why dwive? MOMMY STOP IT STUPID DWIVING!

Jude: Can we fix it? Yes we can!
Ezra: No we can't.
Jude: Bob da Builder!
Ezra: No we can't fix it!
Jude: BOB DA BUILDER!
Ezra: NO WE CAN'T!
Jude: BOB DA BUILDER!!!

Me: What'd you learn about in Sunday School?
Ezra: Just the same thing again.
Me: What was that?
Ezra: Jesus.

Every time I mention my ankle, Jude says, "What's wong?" and I remind him that I hurt my ankle running, then he says, "Watch dis," and runs up and down the hall and says, "See, Mommy?" I think he's showing me how to do it.

Jude, after polishing off a bowl of crackers: I wanna peanut butter sanwich.
Me: Let's have some fruit or veggies first. How about some orange?
Jude: I want some bwown. Bwown.
Me: Brown? What's brown?
Jude: Chocit.

Ezra: Can we eat at a restaurant on Valentine's Day?
Me: I don't think so, sweetie.
Ezra: Why not?
Me: Restaurants are really crowded on Valentine's Day because all the grown-ups go out to eat with their husbands or wives or girlfriends or boyfriends.
Ezra: Do you have a boyfriend?

Ezra: Jude, I love you as much as watching Curious George.

Jude, watching me apply an icepack to my ankle: Mommy hurt?
Me: A little. I hurt my ankle running.
Jude: I sorry. I do it.
Me: No, you didn't do it, honey.
Jude: Ezra do it?

Ezra: Hey, Jude, can I have your water?...Thanks, Jude, you're the best!
Jude: Yep. Da best.

First, a little background info: "Johnny" is the snake that Ezra felted from wool in the bathtub this evening.
Ezra: Johnny's going to pick the story tonight.
Lauren: I didn't know snakes could read!
Ezra: Are you kidding? Are you kidding? He's five. He's older than me. He can even do sign language!
Lauren: How can he do sign language if he's a snake?

Me: Time to take out the recycling.
Jude: I wanna help too! I very strong.

Me: Time to go potty.
Ezra: But I already went.
Me: Ezra, go potty.
Ezra: No, it's true! Feel my penis!