Just got this email from Ezra's teacher:

"Hi Keri Beth and Lauren.

Ezra has told me that he would like to tell the class that if they bring in boxtops to the Halloween party he has a monster he has made for them. It was a little unclear in talking with him if he had enough for the whole class if everyone brought a boxtop and a little unclear exactly what it was. I just wanted to check in with you before he says something to the class.

If this is something that is doable and he wants to do it, he can tell the class about it tomorrow. I had told him telling them tomorrow would be even better because they wouldn't have to remember it for so much time.

Thanks,

Sally"

At McDonald's.
Jude: I smell poison.
Ezra: But it's edible poison, Jude.  You can eat it.

Jude: When I'm 7, Ezra will be 9.  When I'm a grown-up, will Ezra be dead?

Ezra: Don't forget my ear plugs!
Me: I'm not sure I know where they are.
Jude: I know!  Follow me. ... I just need a really long arm... [fishes under dresser] There!  There they are.
Me: How did you know they were under there?
Jude: Just guessed.

Jude: SCREEN TIME! SCREEN TIME!! Ezra, we can have SCREEN TIME!!!
Ezra: Just in a minute. I've only got like, four more pages.

Jude: I don't sneak on you now that I'm 5, except the chemicals [germs] kind of made me wake up and sneak on you last night.

Jude: Mommy--we're planning--I'm going to be alive when you're dead.

Jude, whispering to Sammy: Hiking. Hiking. Hiking. Hiking.
Me: Hiking?
Jude: Sammy's the king.

Ezra, upset because the tooth fairy only left a golden dollar despite his request for a toy: I just feel like it's not even worth waiting for this tooth to come out if all I get is a golden dollar.

Jude: I want a waffle with peanut butter and regular butter and honey and berries.
...
Me: Okay, here you go.
Jude: Now cut it up.
Me: You can cut it. You use the side of your fork like this, see?
Jude: I can't do it!
Me: Do you want a metal fork that might work better?
Jude: Yeah.
Me: Here you go.
Jude: I need you to do it!
Me: You can either cut it like I showed you or just pick up the whole thing with your fork and take bites off of it. Figure it out.
Jude: HEEEEEELP!!! HEEEELP, MAMA, HEEEEEELP!