The kids on the pumpkin pie:
Ezra: Hey, wait a minute! I want a bigger piece, because Jude got more than me and I'm skinnier than he is!
Ezra: Hey, this isn't /that/ bad!
Jude (reassuringly): It not taste bad.

Ezra, after taking a crap at Katie's house: Why does Aunt Katie's house smell like poop?

Jude, crying in the car: I can't see, I can't see, I CAN'T SEE MY FACE!

Ezra: I want my room decorated like a Christmas tree, but with Star Wars stuff instead of ornaments.

Jude: What dis road called?
Me: Riceville Road.
Jude: Dat's a funny name.
Me: What do you think it ought to be called?
Jude: Mailbox Road.

Me: Why are you biting your fingers?
Jude: 'Cause dey're 'licious!

Ezra told me he just learned from a classmate about the "Witch Witch," who takes children's Halloween candy and replaces it with a gift. "Harper told me, and I was soooooo surprised!"

Discussing a trip to the pool this afternoon.

Jude: And den we get our pull-ups on!
Me: You're so good at using the potty now, I don't think you need a swim diaper anymore. Are you going to pee or poop in the pool?
Jude: Umm........pee.

Jude, holding a family picture from last year: Who took dis picture, Mommy? Who took dis picture?
Me: My friend Amanda.
Jude: Who took dis picture??
Me: Amanda.
...

Jude: Where da man in dis picture? Where da man??
Me: ? Where's the...man?
Lauren: "Amanda."