Me: Ezra, what do you think me and Mama should do next week while you and Jude are at Granny and Papa George's house?
Ezra: Maybe you should go to the grocery store and get some wine and read books and, like, relax and stuff.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
As I'm mixing up a melon gazpacho.
Jude: I wanna taste it!
Me: Sure, stick your finger i--uh, I was going to say, 'stick your finger in it,' but you've got your hands on your penis.
Jude: Yeah, I don't want dat on my penis! Ha ha!
Looking at a photoshopped picture of a bird spider on a dinner plate, for scale:
Ezra: What does it eat?
Jude: Plates.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Shortly after Ezra woke up this morning.
Jude: ROAR!
Ezra: Jude, the stuffed animals aren't talking yet.
Jude: ROAR!
Ezra: Jude, they're not talking yet! Can you just make sure they're peaceful?
Friday, June 14, 2013
Me: Ezra, did you know that Mama and I met twelve years ago today?
Ezra: Met? Met who?
Me: Met each other.
Ezra: Why did you say that?
