Jude: You're not fixing it!
Ezra: I'm only like 7 years old, not like a professional toy fixer!

Jude, ready to go to preschool early on pajama day: I never have a bad day when it's pajama day!

Jude: Actually, we are kind of made out of steaks.

After a game of UNO.
Jude: I got first place!  It's just because I'm way more smarter.

Taking the kids to parents' night out at the Y.
Lauren: Y'all might be able to see the moon.  I saw it earlier when I took a walk.
Jude: Did it come out of your butt?
Lauren: Y'all don't get kicked out of the Y.

Listening to the radio.
Jude: Santa Claus?
Me: Yeah, this is a Christmas song.  "I Saw Mama Kissing Santa Claus."
Jude: Where?

Jude: I want to go to college somewhere far away from our house so I can relax.

Jude: I wonder why bad guys laugh.  Nothing's funny.

Jude: I never goin' to school.
Ezra: Good luck being stupid.