Last night I had a stomach virus and couldn't stand to cook dinner, so the kids' dinner was a veggie burger that I microwaved until it was too hot, then put in the freezer to cool off until it was too cold. Ezra raved about it.
Ezra: "Mmmm, I like veggie burgers! Yummy in my tummy! You make a good dinner, Mommy!"
Me: ...thanks. Are you being nice to me because I'm sick?
Ezra: Mommy, I always be nice to you.

Ezra: Mommy, you know what shape this is?
Me: Uh, an X?
Ezra: Mommy, X isn't a shape.

I was reading Ezra a picture book version of the Christmas story, and when we got to the page with the shepherds standing on top of a hill at night, Ezra whispered, "Mommy, those are bad guys."

Ezra (on wanting to wear his pajamas in the car): People that don't eat animals, when they go on long trips, they just wear their pajamas.

Mema: What does Ezra call Lauren's mom?
Me: Granny.
Ezra: I don't call her Granny, I call her Vickie.

Ezra: Mommy, you know Vikings are a kind of animals that talk.

Me; Dinner's almost ready. In the meantime, you can have your salad.
Ezra: Mommy, it's meantime right now?

Ezra (singing): The rat take a crocodile, the rat take a crocodile, hi-ho, figettio, the rat take a crocodile.

Ezra went into his room at 7am, where he was silent for ten minutes. When he came out and I asked him what he was doing, he said, "Well, I was just thinking about my bad day. Because I want to watch Curious George and you won't let me."

Ezra (on the dinosaur from Toy Story): Mommy, that dinosaur can talk. Now I know only dinosaurs can say "roar," but that dinosaur can talk like real people.

Me: Look, that new building's really coming along!
Ezra: What?
Me: I said, "Look, that new building's really coming along!"
Ezra: What?
Me: Look, that new building's really coming along.
Ezra: What?
Me: I'm not going to repeat everything I say!
....
Me: I'm sorry I snapped at you. That wasn't a nice tone for me to use.
Ezra: What say?
Me: I'm sorry I snapped at you. That wasn't a nice tone for me to use.
Ezra: What say?

Me: Jude, get back here!
Ezra: Mommy, why you dripping milk in my room?

Ezra: Mommy, look, I'm smelling your belly!

Jude Says

Jude's newest word:
uh-oh (interj.): 1) I threw something, 2) I am about to throw something, 3) I dropped something, 4) You dropped something.

My newest word:
uh-oh (verb)
E.g., "Look out, your wineglass is about to get uh-ohed."

Me: Let's go for a walk and see if we can see the bear.
Ezra: But what about the bear scare Jude?
Me: I'm just kidding, we won't really see a bear. They're only out at night.
Ezra: But what about Mama saw a bear?
Me: Yeah, she saw one one morning, but that was so early in the morning that it was kind of still nighttime.
Ezra: But I got up early in the morning.
Me: Yes you did. Did you see a bear?
Ezra: Well, I saw a bear penis.

Ezra: Mommy, you know what? I got to watch out for dinosaurs when I'm on the floor with Graham.
Me: How come?
Ezra: So they don't scare Graham.

Ezra: Mommy, Jude hit me.
Me: He's probably still too little to understand, but you can tell him, "Jude, I don't like it when you hit me."
Ezra: Jude, I don't like it when you hit me. ... I don't like it when you hit me. ... Jude say, "I don't understand you."

Ezra: You know everytime I go potty I think about my day.

Ezra: Monkey, your mommy is going to have a baby!
Monkey (through Lauren): Am I going to have a baby brother or a baby sister?
Ezra: Ooh, you going to have a baby brother AND a baby sister! Your mommy has two babies in her belly. Baby seed makes babies. The baby grows in the mommy's belly, and then the baby comes out, PSSSH! (motions with hands flying away from belly)......it's kind of...scary.

Ezra has started using "walk the plank!" as an oath, like the preschooler version of "go to hell." For instance:
Me: Jude, do you have a stinky diaper?
Ezra: Jude say, 'I don't have a stinky diaper! Walk the plank!'"

Ezra: Mommy, Jude's gonna be a baby all day?

Me: What's your favorite kind of candy?
Ezra: Farties.

Ezra: I hear a sound, it sounds like this: "Woooooooo."
Me: I wonder what makes that kind of sound?
Ezra: I'll tell you what makes that sound. It was a lion and a tiger and a dog and a beaver and a snake and a turtle.

On the toilet.
Ezra: Mommy, I toot to get all the fart out of me.