Me: Jude, why did you tape a quarter to the floor?
Jude: I 'on't know.

Jude, trying to talk me out of going to Lowes: There's no beer or anything, there's just tools, tools, tools!

I walked in on Jude in the playroom.
Me: Was that you making those noises?
Jude: No.
Me: I heard some funny noises and I couldn't figure out where they were coming from.
Jude: Oh, whatever.  Just go now.

Lauren: Are you doing anything for Thanksgiving at preschool?  Maybe naming things you're thankful for?
Jude: We made a paper chain.
Me: What did you put on the chain that you were thankful for?
Jude: Sharks.
Me: Oh.
...
Jude: But there was another one, too.  We did two.
Me: Oh!  What was the other thing you were thankful for?
Jude: Sharks.  They were both sharks.

Kids sitting at the bar eating breakfast.
Ezra: AAAAH!
Lauren: What happened?
Ezra: I bit my finger.
Jude: I thought you looked down and you were scared of heights.

Me: Did y'all know Mama delivered a baby last night?
Jude: Delivered one?  Delivered it to who?