Jude: Mommy, I'm bored.
Me: Okay, what do you want to do?
Jude: I don't know.  That's what bored means.

The first thing Jude said to me this morning:
Jude: Mommy, what happens if you don't bury a dead human?

Jude (apropos of nothing): You know there's no such thing as flying butts.  Unless somebody slices off a butt and puts a jetpack on it.

Jude: Something's wrong with all my food.  Except my orange juice.
Ezra: That's because orange juice isn't food.
Jude: Food is crunchy stuff, Ezwa?
Ezra: Food is solid.
Jude: What "solid" mean, Ezwa?
Ezra: Like if you threw it at somebody it would hurt.

Ezra: Mommy, something was funny.  On the first day back, it was like Christmas break never happened.  It was like it was only a night or something.  Surprisingly, no one forgot anybody's name.

When I insisted Jude eat a piece of tofu at dinner, he threw up his entire meal on the table.  Ten minutes later:
Lauren: Did you eat some plastic on this candy cane?
Jude: I did eat plastic, but it's not bad.