Ezra: You hit the ball with the bat, and I catch it.
Me: Okay, here it comes.
[miss by 5 feet]
Ezra: Actually, I'm over here.

Ezra has his finger in his mouth, scratching at his teeth.
Me: Something in your mouth?
Ezra: Just a booger.
Me: Yuck, don't eat boogers.
Ezra: I trying to get it out, but it stuck on my teeth.
Me: ...Gross.
Ezra: Maybe later I won't eat a booger.

6:40am, back in my bed.
Ezra: Mommy, you're my best friend. I really love you so much.

6:30am.
Ezra: I can't sleep in my room 'cause Sammy was lickin' me all over.

Ezra: Are Sadie and Deacon best friends?

Ezra: Mommy, I sick. I think I need to see the doctor.
[note: not really.]
Me: Well, let's take you to the doctor. Dr. Lauren, this little boy feels sick.
Lauren: Well, let's take a listen to your heart. Hmmm....I think you need to be....TICKLED!
Ezra: HA HA HA HA HA!
Ezra: No, Mommy, I mean a real doctor.

In the sandbox at the playground with another toddler.
Ezra: Mommy, I building a sand castle.
Me: Maybe this little boy can help you build the sand castle.
Ezra: I think I got it, Mommy.

Ezra: I wish I could be a mommy.
Me: Girls are mommies and boys are daddies, but daddies can do just about everything that mommies do.
Ezra: Drink beer?

My favorite Ezra-coined word these days is "whobody," as in "Whobody turned out the light?"

Ezra heard an instrumental version of Turkey in the Straw and said the lyrics were, "There's poop in your ear, there's poop in your ear, there's poop in your ear, and then you wash it out."

Tonight, Ezra wanted to write letters to some family, so I transcribed them for him. Not to ruin the surprise (we'll mail them tomorrow), but here they are:

"Dear Uncle Blake,
It's for his birthday, but it's a secret. Happy birthday, Uncle Blake!
Love, Ezra"

"Dear Katie,
Katie say, "ooh, Ezra send me a card!" Ooh, Katie starts with the letter K--K makes a "kuh" sound--kuh, kuh, K!
Love,
Ezra"

"Dear Granny and Papa George,
Dear Papa George,
Dear Granny,
Dear them.
Love, Ezra"

"Dear Papa,
It's for Papa's birthday. Happy birthday, Papa!
Love, Ezra"

"Dear Nana,
Mommy, I think that's all.
Love,
Ezra"

Ezra (playing with thermometer): Mommy, is it all right if I take Jude's temperature?
Me: No.
Ezra: Why?
Me: Because you might hurt him if you put the thermometer in his mouth.
Ezra: No, I going to put it in his butt.

Jude was crying in the car and Ezra was annoyed.
Ezra: Knock it out, Jude! Knock it out! Knock it out! Knock it out!

Ezra: I want to be a grown-up. I want to be a nice daddy.

Ezra: I want you to draw the ABCs. I can't draw the ABCs, I can just draw abstract things.

(We officially have a new favorite vocabulary word.)

Lauren: You had fun playing chase with that little boy.
Ezra: We didn't play chase, we just play abstract things.

Bedtime.
Ezra: I need to rest because my feet are tired. I need a sleep pachine [machine]. A sleep pachine help you go to sleep.

(Lauren and I would also like a sleep pachine, after being up with Jude from 9:30-1 last night.)

Ezra: I wish I could watch TV.
Lauren: You can watch TV later.
Ezra: I wish it was later now.

Me: Time to go feed Meagan's lizards.
Ezra: Meagan's lizards feed us when we were lizards.

Ezra's Uncle Zach arrived at Ezra's 3rd birthday party with his girlfriend, Victoria, whom I'm met once or twice, and when I entered the room, Ezra took my arm and said to Victoria, "This is Keri Beth."

At Granny's house.
Ezra: I'm having granola! It's not an animal, it's a cereal!

Ezra didn't want to take off his wet pants after an accident until Lauren convinced him he had to put on "pizza-eating pants" to eat dinner. While the pizza was being delivered, Lauren put Jude to bed.
Ezra: Where Jude?
Me: Mama's putting him to bed.
Ezra: But the pizza not here yet!
Me: That's okay, Jude doesn't have to have pizza.
Ezra: But Jude have his pizza-eating pants on!

After a potty training accident of the stinky variety.
Me: Ezra, why didn't you tell me you had to go potty?
Ezra: I thought it would be a surprise.

Me: Ezra, let's go to Target!
Ezra: Ooh, your feet are dirty.
Me: Yes they are.
Ezra: Maybe we get you some socks at Target.

Nana: Who's your best friend?
Ezra: Jude.

From back in December:
Ezra: "See Jude face? See Jude little tiny face? Jude say, 'Ezra watch TV!'"

Me: We need to get Ronan a birthday present.
Ezra: How 'bout a jack-in-the-box?
Me: How about a book? I like to give people books.
Ezra: I like to give people jack-in-the-boxes.

This one's not Ezra, but Lauren took the boys at the park the other day and another 3-year-old asked her, "Do you know where my Daddy is?" Jude giggled, and he said, "Is he laughing at me because I don't know where my Daddy is?"

Ezra: Look Mommy, more kids are coming to the park! More mommies too! Maybe you can ask the mommies if they want to talk to you.

Ezra: A, B, C, R, O, T, S. What that spell, Mommy?
Me: It spells abcrots, but that doesn't mean anything.
Ezra: It's abstract?

Ezra's favorite joke this morning is to blow raspberries on my butt and yell, "You're farting!" I think he would have tired of it already if Lauren would quit laughing.

On the way back from the park, 11am.
Me: I want a tall glass of water.
Ezra: How about a tall glass of wine?