Jude: Mommy, you know what's the worst thing to do?
Me: What's the worst thing to do?
Jude: Play in a worm.

I had a pile of paper bags from the grocery store and went to ask Ezra if he wanted them for a craft project, but on the way I passed Jude and thought, I should ask him too. It's not fair to let Ezra get first dibs on everything because he's older. Jude's certainly old enough to make crafts and have his own opinions.

Me: Jude, do you want these paper bags for a craft project?
Jude: Ask Ezwa.

Guest (to Jude): Bye, Ezra! Thanks for having us over!
Jude: I'm not Ezra. Go away. Bye.

Twenty minutes into reading bedtime stories in the tent, Jude said he had to run inside to get something, and came back with a My Little Ponies coloring book (with no crayons).
Me: What's that for?
Jude: It's to look at in case I get bored.
Me: I don't think you're going to have a chance to get bored. We're just reading stories a little longer and then we'll go to sleep.
Jude: I'm bored already.

Dentist: Open wide, like you're eating a hotdog.
Ezra: Weeeell, I'm a vegetarian, so it would have to be a veggie hotdog.

3-year-old trash talk during a game of Robot Against Robot: Who is the powerful, you or me? ME.

Jude: Mommy, when me and Ezra are grown-ups, can we sleep in the guest room?