Jude: I want a waffle with peanut butter and regular butter and honey and berries.
...
Me: Okay, here you go.
Jude: Now cut it up.
Me: You can cut it. You use the side of your fork like this, see?
Jude: I can't do it!
Me: Do you want a metal fork that might work better?
Jude: Yeah.
Me: Here you go.
Jude: I need you to do it!
Me: You can either cut it like I showed you or just pick up the whole thing with your fork and take bites off of it. Figure it out.
Jude: HEEEEEELP!!! HEEEELP, MAMA, HEEEEEELP!

Me: Oops. It looks like all the spoons are in the dishwasher and it's still running, so I guess we can drink the soup out of mugs.
Jude: One of my preschool friends brought soup and didn't have a spoon and Ms. Jen tried to force her to drink it, but she wouldn't do it.

Jude: Let's watch all the sports!

Ezra: When Keenan loses his teeth, the tooth fairy brings him LEGO sets, and a chocolate cake, and a shark tooth, and five dollars.
Jude: This time, we write a note that says, "Do it or elpse."
Lauren: Or elpse what?
Jude: Or elpse.
Lauren: Yeah, but what are you going to do if she doesn't do it? Or else what?
Jude: Just "or elpse."

Jude: Ezra, I know what kind of birthday party I'm having. A surprise family birthday party.
Ezra: But Jude, you can't have a surprise party because you already know about it.
Jude (whispering): I will forget!

Hair stylist: What are you doing after this?
Jude: Getting a ice cream of course.

Jude, playing with Ezra: I got wheels! These are gluten-free wheels.