Me: I have 9,667 steps, so I need 333 more.
Jude: Free hundred firty-free. Free frees. Free free free.

Me: What's your tool for exhibition night?
Jude: A tape dispenser.
Me: How does a tape dispenser work?
Jude: No spoilers.

Ezra, looking for a gift tag for Jude's present: Is there one that says "with love"?

Ezra: My bracelet is bent here. See?
Me: Well, leather is a natural product, so it's going to have some imperfections.
Ezra: What's "imperfections"?
Me: Things that aren't perfect.
Ezra: What is leather?
Me: Cow skin.
Ezra: ....like, when a cow dies, they dig it up and use its skin?  Like, when it dies of old age?

Ezra: Oh, Jude, you'll like this: one of my teachers brought her dog to school and he walked around and sniffed all the kids.
Lauren: What kind of dog was it?
Ezra: A beagle and something mix.
Jude: What did it feel like?
Ezra: What?
Lauren: Like, was it soft like Sammy, or kind of wiry like Buster?
Jude: No, that's not what I'm asking.  What did it feel like to have a dog in the classroom?

Lauren: Time for bed.
Ezra: First I want an apple.
Lauren: It's too close to bedtime.  You've had enough fruit.
Ezra: [crying]
Jude: It's true--a doctor a day keeps the apple away!

Lauren: Those kids in the store were cute taking care of their baby brother.
Jude: I know!  Steal a baby, put it in a grocery bag, and say it's a watermelon!
Lauren: Do you want a baby?
Jude: NO.  Throw it in the trash can and say it was moldy!